Oh dear. I've been to a few gatherings like that. Unpleasant and disappointing.

Sorry it wasn't what you hoped for. Still, I enjoyed your "day at the races" from my vicarious browser-side view. Thanks for taking us along. ;o)

Ah, they're probably just full up ;o)

Just non-inclusive ;o)

How very "RWA meets Twilight Zone".

Yipes...

That's just, well . . . so disappointing. I should've thought romance writers were friendly and inclusive. Maybe they've spent all the love on their novels already.

I've never gone to an RWA meeting but I've heard via layers of friends & their friends that this is typical.

I bet you use the experience in something you write someday. Have fun with it. ;^>

Alas, 3+ hours of your life(that you couldn't been writing) that you'll never get back...

Some groups are simply a closed shop and don't welcome new members. Definitely their loss.

Ow! What a crappy situation. Sounds like you handled it with grace, though, so go, you.

Sorry to hear abut the unpleasant visit. Their loss!

Well that's just odd, and kind of rude.

Sounds like a horrible experience. You're better of without them. Frankly, from what you've written, they don't deserve you...or anyone else who might like to join their goddamn little writing cloister.

That's ridiculous. I didn't have anyone to shephard me into RWA and my first meeting was much different. Seems like your local chapter is a definite skip. Though currently, I'm a national member, w/o a local (after moving to Japan, I left my local). I haven't decided if I'm going to join up with another local.

In all honesty, after a certain point, I don't know if joining the local chapters is much help. it's definitely useful to be a member to the National though.

"I sat down (in the chair next to them (it was a long table)), they continued to talk among themselves."

Awwwwwkward.

Are you sure you weren't wearing your cloak of invisibility?

It's very odd. I could entirely believe this if you were in England, but in the US it seems astonishing.

I can relate to your scenario. It's just like that at DARA (Dallas Area Romance Authors) unless you are Someone Important or Famous. I've tried to break into their clique many times, at regular meetings and at conferences, but I am not pretty enough and the kids turn their backs and won't let me sit at their lunch tables. Oops, I mean they sort of just raise one eyebrow when I introduce myself and turn away. It's typical of people who know you're UNPUBLISHED and YOU HAVE COOTIES, I suppose. I get this at national conventions all the time, as well. I approach a group who's sitting or standing, listen to them talking among themselves, smile and maybe try to say something, and they look surprised, close ranks, and usually edge away. How dare some WEIRDO, some STALKER, some UGLY B**CH try to cut in on their Private Conversation! It's endemic. I used to think it was just cheerleaders who did this, but it's any group. That's just human nature.

Now, if you entered a group and got ignored but were later revealed to be someone With Influence, they would be falling all over you! I've always wished I could be invited as the speaker to a group and then I could arrive quietly and get treated the way I'm always treated and THEN when they are looking for the speaker . . . I could walk up to the podium. Then they might realize that they're missing something with EVERY person they snub. You might not have experienced this phenom yet if you're young and pretty . . . things used to be different for me, too, while I was between the ages of sixteen (when I threw off the shackles of pubescent Chelsea Clinton-awkward looks and became normal-girl-looking) and twenty-five (when I got fat and became invisible to most everybody again). People react well to the pretty young girl type (and sometimes to the kindly old lady type--my mother can sometimes still charm her way in by being the Grandma that they remember). Otherwise, unless you can help their careers, you can pretty much bug off. The group is not interested. And this goes for groups of ANYone--not just writers. Geeks, teachers, mechanics . . . doesn't matter. Other people are Not One Of Us.

Sad, but that's the way it is. So if you were told about DARA, for example, don't waste your time running down to DARA meetings here in Richardson *unless* there is someone who is already in the group and who is going to be watching for you. She/he might be your entree into the clique. That could work! There's a North Texas group that meets in the mid-cities somewhere that might be more friendly, and there's NETWO in East Texas, but I would not hold my breath about being welcomed to DARA. (I say this so you won't get all excited and waste your gas money and time. Then again, perhaps it is just my personal stink as a pariah which affected me, and you might do very well with them. Depends on a lot of factors.)

I'm sure that many people will read my entry and shrug it off as being "what happens to YOU because YOU act funny" or something. Or they'll think I give a dang particularly what happens to DARA or whichever group. But unless a group has someone who acts as a greeter or makes some kind of attempt to integrate newbies into the group, this is what will happen. When I was in the Plano Amateur Radio Club, I acted as an unofficial greeter at meetings and at our Friday night gatherings at a local buffet restaurant. (There was another person who also did this.) People seemed amazed that we wanted to welcome them to PARK. Where I used to go to church, there were also people who kept an eye out for newcomers--not just at the Sunday school classes, where it was easy to spot the new people, but also at services. It was so much better to let people know that we welcomed them, rather than to have them trying to get someone to be nice to them. But those groups have a vested interest in gaining more members, whereas the writers' groups don't really care (in my experience). So be it. Whatever. It's up to them, of course.

If you ever DO find a writing group that has an official or unofficial greeter, be sure to tell them what a difference it makes. Maybe that's the problem . . . these other groups found it wasn't "worth their while" to court newcomers, for whatever reason. So they . . . don't.